Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
