What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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