I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
