they need to just BURY HIM!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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