so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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