That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
