my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she smelled like a LAN party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
