The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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