Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
