brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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