never play flip cup with pint glasses
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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