I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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