I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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