Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
