The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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