i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
