I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize