I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
