okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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