Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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