whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize