Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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