OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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