Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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