and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
