I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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