plz talk dirty to me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
