So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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