Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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