We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
