Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She even gives head with a lisp.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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