Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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