Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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