Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
