if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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