We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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