My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
zippers are such a cool invention
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
