On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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