Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
