I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize