Sry I called you an 8
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
