well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
