That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
