It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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