It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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