He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
