i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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