Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
