They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
