fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
