HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
