mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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