i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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