how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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