Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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