wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just tell him i said nine months
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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