I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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