thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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