I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
