Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All the doctor said was why
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize