I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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