I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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